


of sorrow and ash

by Naonexe



Category: genshin - Fandom
Genre: Gen, M/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:42:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29755650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naonexe/pseuds/Naonexe
Summary: for everyone reading this that doesn't know me, (which i hope there are none cus fuck this is embarassing-)yes, this is an oc story. no, im not following the canon to the T. I began writing this before xiao was a playable character so peace!





	1. sorrow

Blood covered his hands and spear. Shivering he looked upon what he had done. He wanted this to stop, the endless suffering of a war nobody could truly "win". But deep down he knew, it would never end, not for him. He stepped through the ashes that his fire left behind, forcing himself to look for more survivors. He begged for there to be none, but as fate, in its most twisted form had it, he found a child. She looked to be merely six, maybe seven years old. "w-who are you? Have you come to save me?" she spoke, eyes glistening with hope. Could he possibly kill a child? He wondered. "w-what are you called?" she questioned, growing more nervous by the second. Deep down she knew the stranger hadn't come to free her. "I have no name" the yaksha replied, his voice tainted with a deep sadness that had no chance of being covered anymore. He raised his weapon, preparing himself for what was about to come. He had no choice.

"Wait!" the child screeched out, tears forming in her eyes. He flinched, stopping the blade of his lethal weapon just before it could pierce the girls chest. "b-before you kill me- please let me give you a name!" she begged in between sobs. He looked at her in curiosity. Never had anyone cared enough to give him something with as much meaning as a name. "then speak" he voiced. "please call yourself Nekane from this day on, it's my last wish" She told, with a voice as shaky as the once nameless ones hands. "then so be it" He said, thrusting the spear into the child's flesh. Her eyes, before full of fear, went dull and numb. Nekane stared at the small corpse. He could barely believe what he had done to her. His eyes went blurry as tears dripped down his face onto the little girls. 

He couldn't tell how much time had passed. Minutes, Hours, Days even. His head hurt. It was as if something deep inside of him split. He regretted what he had done without a doubt, but he also felt so incredibly free. "stand up" A Voice behind him commanded. He snapped his head back to make out who commanded him. All he could make out was a person with a white robe and long, dark hair. This persons aura was heavy and threatening on him, he would recognize it anywhere. He quickly stood up to greet his master. "morax-" "stop dwelling on someone you will never know." He spoke. Nekane stared at the ground. How could a god out of all people have so little empathy? It was a riddle to him.

Soon after he was sent back to what one day would be known as Liyue. I stood on top of one of the mountains surrounding the cliff side, watching the waves crash against cold rocks. Next to him stood the only person to have ever put an interest in him, Guizhong. If it wasn't for her, Morax would've slain him the moment they met. "You seem as something is bothering you" she stated. Nekane sighed, and began to tell of what happened. "sorrow. Yes.. that name suits you well" She spoke, dismissing everything else. He understood what she thought, dwelling up his anger would only worsen his mood. "Nekane. One day I won't be here anymore to keep guiding you through dark times. You-" she began, interrupted by the yaksha. "I won't let that happen." "It's inevitable. You're still young, but soon you will need to learn to be independent" she continued to tell. 

Nekane began shaking again. He couldn't Imagine what it would be like without the guiding hand of Guizhong by his side. "please close your eyes" she requested. Without hesitation he followed. As the world was dark to him, he felt her take his hand and place a small object into it. In curiosity he looked at what he had just been given. It was a small object that resembled a blade, but it was way too dull and small to be used as such. "what is this?" he asked. He couldn't make sense out of the metal object. "It's an earring" she explained, revealing the ones she wore. Slowly the corners of his lips curled into a faint smile. "Thank you. I will treasure it." 

At the time he didn't know what was to happen, not many years after.

He ran through the aftermath of the battle, searching for rest survivors. His legs could barely carry him anymore and his breath was jagged. He made his way up on a hill to get a better viewpoint, but fell to his knees once he reached it. There she laid, motionless in a puddle of her own blood. His surroundings started to spin. How could he have let this happen? It was as if the world left him to himself. Tears dripped down onto burned grass. I wanted to get up and run. Run without a destination, with nowhere to go. But could he just leave everything behind? Rapid thoughts troubled his mind. He felt a suffocating heat rising, making him tear his eyes away from his old mentor. Eyes met flames. In his panic he had set the surrounding grass aflame. Before he could form another thought, he stood up and ran. 

From afar he watched the goddess of dust turn to dust. It was a twisted, tragic, irony. As much as it hurt him, he could not turn away from the fire. He watched as people rand towards the fire trying their best to put it out. After what felt like hours, the flames were reduced to a mere glimmer. "Nuriel.. Nuriel of the ashes. That will be my new name" He whispered to himself as he turned away and ran.


	2. darkness

had running away been a bad decision? Nuriel couldn't tell anymore. He did not care anymore either. He looked at the bloodied ground before him, trying to remember how sick it used to make him feel, how his world would start to spin as he cried over the innocent lives that were lost. But now, he felt nothing. All the compassion he had been taught years before had left him. He still heard morax words echo through his mind; "you aren't human. Understand that and quit acting like you belong to them". Now he could see what he meant back then. Now, there was truly nothing human left of him.

Slowly he stepped over the bodies that laid in front of him, looking for any riches to bring him. After the years he had taken on a different master to serve. He had not been kind or compassionate, he only lusted for power and riches. Nuriel hated him, but knew this man would be the only chance of his survival, no matter how dirty the deed was he made him do for shelter. Now, to his disappointment he found nothing but empty drawers. He may had to spend the night outside of that damned thing he refused to call "home". He sighed, deciding staying in this empty and now to be abandoned house had no value. 

Annoyed, he went outside, only to be greeted by a hand full of morax soldiers. So these people were of liyue.. and somebody reported everything. The 5 men pointed their weapons toward the former adeptus. "you desire to fight? Then so be it." He spoke, summoning his spear once more. "stand back!" one of the men yelled out, just to be pierced by Nuriels blade. "pathetic" he spat as the other four stared in shock. The years of war had only ever fed the yakshas abilities. Before anyone could say another word, another man was taken out. He saw that the men were shaking in fear, but he'd leave them to no mercy. He took out two more in cold blood as the last made an attempt to escape, just to have his very own spear hit him. He fell to the ground as his murderer watched him take his last breath.

All this trouble for nothing. He couldn't return with bare hands. But where could he find something of value now, where the sun was about to disappear beyond the horizon? He shook his head. It seemed as there was no answer to this question. Going back wasn't an option for the night, so he decided to investigate on morax' doing. Following his self-given quest, he wandered through the lands, trying to find one of the gods soldiers. If he found them responsible for more innocent lives taken, his hatred would only grow. Someone who was to become an archon should not have fallen as low as he himself. 

Soon he came across a raided village. As he walked through the remains of the buildings he found not what he first thought of as human bodies, as well as remains of soldiers. He felt his blood start to boil. How could they dare to destroy an entire village? What could they have possibly done?! He began walking faster the more he looked around. Ever so slowly the buildings reminded him of something. As he calmed his rage, he found how familiar this village had been. Could it be? No, it had been well over two thousand years, no way this could be the same village as from his youth. He looked over his shoulder, to the main building. He remembered it to be much bigger back then.

As he dwelled upon memories, he noticed a soft crying coming from one of the less destroyed buildings. He went to find the source of the noise. Cowering in the corner he found a boy, softly sobbing as he hid away from the long finished battle outside. Nuriel quickly understood that this boy was no human, but one of his kin; a yaksha. "no! don't hurt me!" he cried out as he registered Nuriels presence. "I'm not here to hurt you" He replied, crouching down next to him. "what is your name?" he asked, but the raven haired boy only shook his head in response.

He guessed the young yaksha to be maybe 1000 at best, likely younger. He reached out to him, but his hand was slapped away. As he looked up, he was met with puffy, golden eyes like his own. The boy stare was full of fear and determination to fight for his survival and something he couldn't quite make out. He felt like he had seen this before, a long time ago. "I am not your enemy" Nuriel spoke, inspecting the boy for wounds. In his presence something shifted, it seemed calmer. Did he finally understand that the older had no intend to harm him? "are you hurt?" he asked. The nameless boy shook his head. "h-how is everyone-?" he questioned, slightly shaking and eyes beginning to water. Nuriel silently stared back at him for barely a moment.

"I'm sorry"

That pushed him over the edge. Tears violently ran down his face as he cried out for his long gone parents. Just the sight of it brought Nuriel to make the young yaksha an offer. "come with me and I'll swear to protect and train you" he spoke. With teary eyes he looked up at him. His sobs grew more quiet and his stare went blank has he slowly nodded and got up. Hesitantly he took a step forward and let himself fall against the slightly taller, wrapping his arms around him. "thank you" he mumbled over and over again. "now, wipe away those tears and follow me" Nuriel commanded, lightly pushing away the smaller. As he stepped outside the hut, he shortly stopped. "from this day on your name will be Alatus" He spoke, briefly looking back at now-Alatus, who quietly nodded.


	3. hope

Soon the both of them arrived at the rotten, broken house of Nuriels master. He never truly understood why someone like him, who loved luxury and expenses would settle down in a building as disgusting as the one before him. Alatus quickly hid behind Nuriel as soon as the door was opened. "You're back." The tall man stated. Nuriel looked up at him, slowly nodding. "where is it?" he asked. After all this, He had forgotten that he had nothing valuable to offer. "I've brought nothing", He spoke, waiting for the door to be slammed into his face. But instead, his master grabbed Alatus away from behind him. "then what's this?" The man asked, holding his wrist in the air. "let him go!" Nuriel yelled out, summoning his spear. 

He quickly snatched Alatus away from the man. "hm, fine. The brat can stay, under one circumstance. He'll serve me too." He spoke, eyeing he "brat". "Fine. But dare hurt him, and you'll see neither of us again." He hissed back at him, covering the younger. The man stepped to the side, letting the both inside. Nuriel glared at him and dragged his new student into the only semi clean room. As he turned to him after locking the door, he found him rubbing his wrist in pain, eyes filled with tears again. For a moment they looked at each other, with an expression that could only ever be described as a deep, painful sadness.

"tomorrow we'll get on with the training"

It was not even morning as the both of them began. They travelled a long distance until Nuriel deemed it a safe for Alatus' training. "you will need to learn how to use a weapon" the older spoke, picking up a fairly straight stick from the big tree next to them. He gave the stick to the other and summoned his own weapon. Alatus stared at him with wide eyes, clinging to the stick. "I'm not going to fight you, but I need something to demonstrate" Nuriel explained, trying to ease the small boy's fear. He showed him a few ways to hold the stick and how he would use it if it was a spear like his own. It was all well, for the longest time. That was until a few of the monsters that had recently stared roaming the land appeared. 

"Damn it... Hilichurl." Nuriel stated, having spotted the monsters in the distance. "w-what?!" Alatus squeaked, hiding behind his teacher, who was already in a fighting stance. "don't hide, fight!" he yelled at him," I didn't teach your for nothing! Now's the time to try it out!" Behind him, Alatus nodded and took Nuriels side, who was eagerly anticipating the attack. The monsters came running at them with their clubs, making deranged sounds. He couldn't help but break out into a manic smile. He had waited a long time to take these things out himself instead of letting someone else do it for him. Usually, he avoided them as they were weak and a waste of time, but now it was the perfect opportunity to finally take some out and train his student at the same time.

He struck the first thing as soon as it came close enough and kicked it to the side, letting it bleed out onto the ground. Alatus stared in shock, not noticing the Hilichurl that was approaching him from behind. "Focus!" Nuriel called out. He quickly turned around hitting the Churl with his stick on accident. After a second of petrifaction, he hit it again and again, trying to focus on its head. While he was busy bashing in its skull, Nuriel focused on the biggest of the bunch. Its movements where aggressive and it kept hitting the yaksha with its piece of wood that resembled a shield. 

It was hard to get behind the shield until he had an idea. He used the same power he had used o burn so many villages and campsites, the one that set his mentor aflame. He tried to focus it on the wood, burning it up. The flames had also hurt his opponent, who now was exhausted from its aggressive fighting and took a break. He used this opportunity to finally finish it off, aiming for its exposed chest, piercing through its heart. Blood sprayed out of the deadly wound, onto him and the ground. He looked over to his student who now was dealing with several smaller Hilichurl. For a moment he watched him struggle.

Alatus was scared, several bruised already covered his body. He screamed as he tried to hit his opponents, eyes blurry and full of tears. He took out a single of the four with a lucky hit to the head. Out of the corner of his eye he could see his mentor rush to him, quickly stabbing one of the last three. The boy jumped back, leaving the monsters with Nuriel, who quickly took them out one by one, until the last one was laying on the ground, struggling to get up. "come here" Nuriel called him over, handing him his spear. Alatus looked at him in confusion. "finish it off, kill it." He said, pushing the boy to the struggling creature. He held the spear high and let it fall down, hitting it's stomach. It was enough of a lethal hit to let it die.

"I'm sorry for leaving you on your own for so long" Nuriel apologized. Alatus slid down the tree, hugging his knees. He was exhausted and in pain, but he knew it was all to help him get stronger. Nuriel sat down next to him, putting his arm around his small body as they both watched the sun go down the horizon. He leaned against his mentor, trying to relax. If he fell asleep, he would surely protect him, right?

Soon the last sunlight disappeared and night fell. Alatus had already fallen asleep against the tree. It seemed like he was exhausted from all the training and fighting Nuriel had made him do. He seemed so peaceful. He didn't remember the last time he had gotten a night of undisturbed sleep, or when the last time was he even truly slept. It had been a long time. He carefully picked him up trying not to wake him. He looked for a different place to stay the night, as he wouldn't manage to bring the both of them back on foot. Eventually he found a house in a presumably safe region.

He knocked at the door, hoping someone would open it for him. And indeed, the house was inhabited. In front of him now stood an older lady with a shocked expression. The sight of two bloodied boys must've been startling. "I mean no harm. Me and my friend were out for too long and got attacked. Would you be so kind and let us stay the night?", He asked, trying to sound as soft as he could. It seemed to have worked, as the older lady now calmly nodded, stepping to the side. "yes, come in. You two must be very tired. Please make yourselves comfortable" She stated, voice as frail as she looked. "Thank you!" He thanked the woman, quickly getting inside. 

He placed Alatus on a makeshift mattress the lady was kind enough to provide. He was still in a deep sleep, it seemed. He sighed and got up, leaving the room. He found the lady in the kitchen, preparing a meal. "What are you making?", Nuriel asked in curiosity. "It's a dish that my mother taught me how to make; Almond tofu. I don't want you two boy leaving with an empty stomach!", she chuckled. Nuriel nodded in response. He was truly grateful he found this place, otherwise they possibly wouldn't have survived the night.


	4. loss

Nuriel sat in silence, the only light in the dark room came from a small window. He stared at the moon, wondering how his life would've been if this war never happened. Would he have been happy? Would he have friends and family? He sighed. There was no way of knowing it now. He broke his gaze away from the full moon and looked at The one sleeping next to him. Alatus was fast asleep. Somehow this boy brought him a sense of inner peace. His lips curved into a soft smile as he brushed a strand of hair out of the sleeping ones face. He looked back at the moon and promised to his student, his friend, and himself one thing:

"we'll always be together, Alatus. I promise"

Hours had passed. Nuriel was watching the sun rise. He rarely had time to watch this phenomenon. He had witnessed many, but the beautiful arrange of colors amazed him every time. He shook his head. Part of him knew that this only meant the two of them had to get going soon, They needed to continue Alatus' training. He thought for a moment. He surely knew a safe place they could use to train with something valuable nearby. He had to, they couldn't spend another night in a strangers house. If he didn't bring something back to his master he'd certainly not be pleased. 

Eventually Alatus woke up too, as they made their way to the kitchen where the old lady had already been waiting. "good morning you two", she greeted them. "morning.. ", the younger mumbled in response, rubbing his eyes. "before we leave, I want to thank you for letting us stay", Nuriel spoke. The lady only nodded, holding out a little packet to the shorter of the both, "please take this on your journey, it's the almond tofu from last night". Nuriel forced his best smile as he urged the other to leave, not wanting to hurt the woman's feelings. 

Once outside he took the package, slowly opening it. The thought of eating made him feel sick, that's how long ago the last time he ate anything had been. But regardless of how he felt, he took one of the jiggly cubes and carefully bit some off. It was extremely smooth and sweet but.. He couldn't have cared less about the taste. He felt like he knew it from somewhere.

Suddenly he found himself back on the battlefield, looming over one of the many corpses surrounding him. Hands and clothes soaked in blood as he finally found what he craved. The dead woman's former hopes and dreams. Their texture was smooth, he barely had to chew to be able to swallow it. As soon as he gulped the substance down he rushed to the next body, frantically searching for that sweet, sweet essence. His mind screamed at him to stop but his body just wouldn't listen, he craved it so bad. And he hated it.

Alatus watched in fear as his saviors face drained of all color and began shaking. "Nuriel? Nuriel?!" he called out, trying to get through to him. It caught him off guard seeing how he stuffed the rest of the weird cube into his mouth and immediately grabbed another, and another. He yanked the meal away from him and it seemed to let Nuriel snap out of his trance like state. "I'm.. sorry" he apologized to him. He slowly nodded, not understanding what had happened hesitantly he took one of the cubes for himself. Sweet and smooth, nothing out of the ordinary, for him at least. 

Little did he know he would soon learn why his elder reacted that way to the food. 

Years where spend under Nuriel and his Master. It started to feel less and less like he trained under him, but alongside him. He had fallen into the grips of, now his, Master.   
"Eat!", The man yelled while holding his head into the dead body in front of him. It smelled of blood and sweat. There was still body heat lingering around the body. He could feel his stomach turn. How does one eat dreams? It puzzled him. It wasn't possible, was it? "ugh! Nuriel, you do it!" he continued screaming. Alatus heart sank. He forced his head to look a he brunet, who slowly walked towards him, grabbing the corpses head. Somehow he extracted some kind of glistering, silver-bluish essence. The colored swirled around, collapsing in on themselves. It looked mesmerizing. 

Before he could react any further, Nuriel shoved the thing in his mouth. The man finally let go of him as he started coughing. It felt slippery as it went down his throat, and it had no particular taste. He found it not as bad as he thought it would be. At least until it started. A voice began whispering into his ear and his world started spinning. The voice kept nagging at him why he had done it, what would be with its friends. His head hurt but he couldn't help but want more. This feeling was weirdly addicting, Frantically his eyes searched for more of what he was craving. It was as if he wasn't the one in control anymore. Then he understood.

He understood why Nuriel reacted the way he did that day. It was so similar to that meal they had. It was so incredibly addicting. He couldn't control his body as he rushed to the next corpse and started digging for that substance once more. More and more blood covered his hands as tears streamed down his face. "No! Please! I don't want this! I don't want to be this!", He screamed, unable to stop himself. "Please! Nuriel! Make it stop!", he kept crying out while his friend was forced to watch. His face was scrunched up in pain.

Their Master laughed at both their pain and left them to be. Nuriel walked over to Alatus, pulling him into a tight hug. Almost instantly he hugged him back, crying into his shoulder. "I- I can hear them, Nuriel I'm scared", He sobbed. All the older could do to comfort him was to gently rub his back. " Alatus.. you're not alone, okay? I'm here" He spoke. "I want to go home!", Alatus yelled out. 

"... You know that neither of us can", He responded, voice hoarse.

Eventually both of them got used to it, used to the constant voices, the constant pain, the constant craving. It hurt, but they had each other. They found comfort in each other, spending days and nights on the battlefield, to leave and rest and just be. Nothing could ever separate the two for longer than a few hours. Now the two of them sat in a cave as outside a storm waged over the land. "I haven't seen this much rain in a long time" Nuriel thought out loud, earning a nod from the other. "True. It's been a while" He replied, watching the fire in front of them. 

"Alatus, I have a plan", Nuriel began. "A plan? What for?" Alatus questioned. "to end this misery of war. We have to go defeat one of the most influential ones" the taller explained. "..that way we could bring him to end it.." his partner picked up, earning an approving nod. "When do we start?", He asked. "As soon as the rain stops", Nuriel replied, staring outside. Soon it'd all be over and they could finally be happy. No more Monsters, gods and demons to fight. No more endless seeming sorrow. 

Soon the rain stopped. They quickly looked at each other before beginning their journey to a mountain close to the war gods camp. Not long after soldiers spotted them, calling their god. Quickly the yaksha jumped down, beginning the battle. Nuriel was the one to fight Morax. "I've waited years for this!", he hissed, freeing his way to the god, who had long summoned his own spear. Nuriel took a sharp turn, shoving the soldier in his way to the side and jumped to the side of a pillar. He jumped off the side in the direction of morax, who quickly pointed his weapon to Nuriel. It barely grazed his shoulder, leaving a small wound.

He landed a distance away, creating a ring of fire around the both of them. His eyes were widely opened as he stared down the dragon-like god in front of him. Flames seemed to dance in his eyes as his mind hazed with thoughts of battle. He saw the gods mouth moving, but he heard nothing. Nothing, but voices telling him to fight growing louder and louder. He sprinted towards the deity and struck, but hit a wall of stone instead. He climbed it and jumped towards morax, who dodged. Blade hit blade as Nuriel attempted another strike. 

Despite being blocked off over and over again, he wouldn't stop. He couldn't. He stood upon one of the pillars and summoned his fox-like mask that covered the upper half of his face. He jumped and disappeared in the flames. Morax scanned where he could possibly be just be struck in the arm. Just as he turned around, he found himself looking at nothing but the wall of fire that seemed to grow hotter by the second. Then once more Nuriel had landed a hit. How could he still be so fast while wounded? 

Just after his third strike blood dropped from his mouth. His body still couldn't bear this power, it seemed. The pain forced him to slow down. A grave mistake. It gave Morax the chance to land a final hit. He rammed his spear in the ground, summoning a structure around the yakshas legs and arms. It was impossible to escape. This would be it, the end of Nuriel, His thoughts ran as his mask splintered into red shards. He would meet his demise away from the one who he held so dearly. 

But, just as morax held his spear high, ready to kill his former servant, he noticed something that made him stop. Something small and shiny dangling from the captured ones ear. It hit him like a brick to the face. This small thing made him remember. He understood Nuriels deep rooted hatred towards him. What he had done in mind, he let his spear fall to the side and spoke.

"I offer you a contract. I will promise to put an end to this war and take your friend in, but you will forever be exiled for what you have done today."

Hesitantly Nuriel nodded, a single tear falling from his face. He would leave everything behind but.. Alatus would be safe, and that was what mattered to him at that very moment. "then so be it." He replied as the flames around them died down and he was let free by his former Master. He was ready. "Now leave. He will know you to be killed by the one you serve" the god spoke and send Nuriel away, who nodded and began running.

Alatus was still fighting, left in the dark about what happened. He hadn't even been told Nuriel went against a god all by himself. Just as he was about to dodge another attacked, the soldiers stopped. He turned around and was met by golden-brown eyes."You've lost. Your friend has been killed by your Master" the god spoke. The yakshas eyes widened and he began shaking. His legs gave in and he slowly dropped to the ground. "no.. that can't be" He spoke. Morax just quietly shook his head. Tears shot into Alatus eyes. He realized there had been no lie. He dropped fully down to his knees and let out an agony filled scream.

Alatus had lost his elder, his mentor, his only friend.


	5. hatred

So Nuriel ran. He ran for the life he never had and never would have, not anymore. He had dreamed of a life without the endless death and tragedy in Liyue, together with Alatus. But dreams were in vain. He should have known that there was no happy end waiting for him in the end. He would die like he began; alone. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, away from what he had called home for so long. He knew he could never return. 

Soon he reached the end of Liyues territory. One last time he looked upon what he would soon leave behind. Never would he thought he'd leave one day. All because of this one god. Slowly his blood began to boil and tears formed into his eyes. He didn't want to leave. He swore to be by Alatus side, no matter what, and again he couldn't keep it. He balled his fists as he directed his anger at the ground. "curse you Morax! I hate you!" he screamed, setting his surroundings on fire. With heavy steps he walked away from what he loved so dearly once, leaving a scene of ash and destruction behind him.

And so he hid away, waiting for the geo archon to upkeep his part of the contract. He couldn't venture out all on his own as war still waged. He stared at the heavy rain that surged once more, like the day before the battle. He sighed. Today he had reached Natlan, the nation the to-be pyro archon would take for themselves. Maybe he would belong here. Just maybe. He soon closed his eyes, trying to sleep, but all that remained in his mind were the flames that danced around him and Morax that day. And his mind began to wander. He thought about the many years he had spend with Alatus. Would he truly be safe or would he endure the same he had for so long?

Would he truly be safe or would he endure the same he had for so long?  
After a long time it finally ended. Never would he have thought he would see this day. He began to travel and explore his new homeland, although deep down he knew it would never be a home. He wandered over valleys and mountains, fighting of monsters from time to time. It felt as nothing had changed. He had spend years traveling the nation of fire, but nothing had changed in his eyes. It still was an endless fight of survival. It felt as if the war had never truly ended, and soon he would find out as to why.

He came across a growing village, the city of natlan. From a distance he watched the people of the city. It felt weird seeing people just living with each other in peace instead of the constant fear that once roamed the lands. He debated for a while. Eventually he decided to explore the city. Maybe he could find work or alike and live a life like a mortal. No. he would never be able to let go what had happened. He would never be able to be just that; human. And he never had been. He sighed and began to travel towards the lively place. 

He wandered through the market place. People stared at him. Of course they could tell that he wasn't from Natlan, but a far away nation. They all seemed scared, but as long as he would bother nobody, he surely wouldn't get in trouble. He looked at the goods they had. He couldn't help but let his thoughts wandered back to Liyue. Would they haven't marketplace now too or did Morax stick to what he does best? It shouldn't matter to him anymore. This would be his home now. He looked around until a certain building grabbed his attention. It seemed to be some kind of palace.

He found himself walking towards it. It gave of an oddly familiar energy.. could it be that this building was where the pyro archon resided? Would an archon do that? He wanted to find out. He would've too, if the guards didn't stop him. "Stop right there!" one yelled. Instantly Nuriel followed the order, 

lightly started startled by it. "you're trespassing private property!" and other added. "oh I.. I'm sorry I did not know", Nuriel apologized and backed off. So it truly was, huh? Who else would take such a big building for themselves? Suddenly he had this strong desire to sneak in and see for himself if he was right. He knew it was wrong. 

And yet, deep down inside of him, something told him to just go, right now. To just kill the guards and go to face whatever remained on the inside. Even if it was a god or goddess, he so desperately longed for the noise of fights as well as the smell of blood. He wanted to battle. He tried so very hard to suppress these urges, he couldn't possibly murder a god who just became an archon. The guards where watching his every step with growing suspicion, as well as some onlookers.

Nuriel was shaking. His mind slowly clouded with those thoughts. The image of Morax telling him to leave flashed before him. And then the scream he heard closely after he began running. He was sure it had been Alatus. And as he was running then, he ran now. The anger overflew in him, And he struck the first guard down. And so the second. Soon there where many more running towards the scene. It was so extremely bizarre. His memories mixed with what happened in the present. Like blood covered his hands then, so did it now. Flames were dancing around him, burning the many men and women to ashes.

It was as if his body wasn't his own. The world tainted in a faint red through the eyes of the mask he didn't intend to summon. He walked through the hell flames he created and broke open the giant door. The Archon had already awaited him. "Who dare disrupt my peace?!" she yelled out. He gave no response. All he did was slowly walk to his new opponent, bloodlust not yet stilled. The goddess summoned her blade, pointing it at Nuriel. "Answer, stranger!" She demanded. But he just kept walking. 

Just a few inches separated him and the blade. One small thrust would have been enough to send him to the afterlife. He reached for the silver sword grabbing it. He yanked it away from the goddess, despite the sharp edges of it digging into his hand. The woman fell to her back in shock. She seemed to be merely a few hundred years old. Nothing compared to others. She shivered as she laid on the floor, Nuriel looming over her, inspecting his new weapon. Quickly his eyes snapped from the weapon to his newest victim. "Morax.." he quietly hissed, bringing the blade near her throat. Her fear turned into confusion, just as the sword pierced her throat. 

The clouds left his mind and he realized what he had done. Panic flooded him and he began fleeing from the crime he had just committed. How could he let this happen? "I'm a monster" he whispered to himself as he hid from the world like so many times. "I'm sorry I'm sorry" he repeated over and over again. He didn't want to become like this. He didn't want to become one of the monsters he used to slay. He didn't want to be heartless. And so he begged, he begged to no one for forgiveness, for a change. He began to understand the feeling he had; war may have left the world, but remained the only thing his mind could think of. It never ended. 

Tears fell down onto the dirty ground. Ever so slowly he dragged himself deeper in the cave, wishing somebody would just seal him away. Soon he came across a small lake. He looked at the water, finding his reflection staring back at him. Had he always looked that way? Once golden eyes tainted a blood red, pupils shaped into thin slits. His fangs had grown as he had aged. His deep brown hair, right now covered in dirt and dust, had gained some red streaks through and through. He felt as if there was barely anything left of who he had been, or rather what. Nekane did not prevail. All that was left was Nuriel, fighting an intoxicating hatred. 

Hours had passed now. He had still been hiding deep in the cave. He yearned for things to change, to be able to just be happy. He wished he could go back to Liyue, but he knew he was just as unwelcomed there as he was here now. And he feared that he wouldn't be able to control himself and hurt someone he loved. He just couldn't go back. He was doomed to lead a lonely live and eventually die as one of the things he had deeply hated.

Eventually he dared go wander back outside. The hot sun burned on his skin. He had to find another place for him to live. Somewhere where he could be safe and far away from people. He closed his eyes and began walking. Eventually he would find a place. 

But instead of finding just a place, he found something else that piqued his interest.


	6. memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its really just a filler chapter

Right in front of him sat a little girl. She seemed extremely scared, and the appearance of the yaksha startled her even more. "I'm not here to hurt you" he spoke, trying to inch closer but the girl scooted further away. She was shaking in fear, noticeable bruises all over her frail body. "my name is Nuriel. What is yours?" he tried to break the ice. "A-Amy.." she stuttered. "it's nice to meet you, Amy. Would you tell me what happened?" He asked. For a while there was a silence between them. "He hit me again..." She whispered. "who?" Nuriel asked, but his question wouldn't be answered by the girl, butby the person appearing behind him.

Treasure hoarders. It was safe to assume one of them was the girl's father."Oi! Get away from that brat!" the head of the group yelled. Nuriel looked up at the girl and held out his hand. "Don't you dare!" The man the man screamed at him. Luckily the girl understood and held onto his hand and almost immediately the both of them bolted away from the abusive bunch. As soon as they were a decent distance away, Amy let him inspect her wounds. They weren't all too severe, just a few bruises that would heal with time. "t-thank you, sir!" She squeaked. "don't thank me" Nuriel responded, looking out to find the girl a safe place to stay.

One thing was sure to him, if she stayed by his side she would get hurt more. He couldn't bring her to the city of Natlan, he certainly wasn't very welcome there anymore. So he lifted the girl to his shoulders so she wouldn't strain her legs even more and began searching. Maybe for once he wouldn't have to feel responsible for another child's death. In the distance he could make out a few houses. He could ask one of the habitants to bring her to a safer location.. the only problem was that several monsters blocked their way. 

He looked for a way around them but they seemed to be surrounded. He took a deep breath and summoned his spear. He had to be extra careful with the girl on his shoulders. He sprinted forward, trying to dodge any incoming attacks. Fighting back while the weight of the girl was pushing down on him was extremely difficult as it turned out. His shoulder hat been hit several times in attempts to keep the girl from getting struck. As he was ever so close to the village, one of those pesky Hilichurl managed to throw a stone in front of him making him trip and fall.

The girl promptly fell off his shoulders and landed on the muddy ground. Nuriel quickly got up and rushed to her, fending off an axe wielding Mitachurl. "I've fought worse than this.." he told himself, turning to face the enemies once more. Despite his bleeding shoulder he tried fighting off as many as he could, taking down a single Mitachurl but was once more struck in his shoulder. He yelped out in pain and held his shoulder, for a brief moment unable to fight back. Quickly he regained awareness of the battlefield and went back to fighting, until he noticed the dark red spot on the ground.

A pool of blood surrounded the girl's body that was now chopped in half. Regardless of how used he was to the grotesque sight his stomach twisted. In this weakened state he couldn't continue fighting. So he fled, leaving the bodies remains behind to be found by whoever was unlucky enough to discover the scene. He truly felt terrible. If he hadn't tried to safe her from those treasure hoarders, would she have lived? Likely she would've gotten hurt again but she would've lived. He thought he had done the right thing but once again he caused more harm.

He felt so dirty. He knew the centuries of blood and misfortune on his hands would never leave him. Eventually his escape came to its end and he found himself back in the cave that harbored the lake. Just days ago he wailed here and begged for forgiveness but all that would come was punishment for what he had done. He had come to accept that this overpowering hatred that seemed to grow would always be part of him, no matter how hard he tried to overcome it, no matter how hard he tried to redeem himself. 

He knew his punishment would claim his life and he wanted things to end how they began. If he should perish, then morax will go with him, he thought. A spiteful thought indeed but he couldn't let his last revenge go and the hatred would only fuel this desire. He would return to Liyue.


End file.
